“Barbie and The Heartbreakers” or “Trips and Quips”

Brian is a huge Tom Petty fan, and Tom and The Heartbreakers are touring this summer. We could have seen them here in Ohio, but for their show outside the nation’s capital, the opening act was Crosby, Stills and Nash. Add to that the opportunity to visit our friends Steven and Dale, (et al.) and it was a no-brainer.

We packed a lot into a very short trip. Saturday we went to Baltimore to see Steven and Dale’s new house (which they’re going to move into just as soon as the current owners repair the damage from the fire that occurred just days after the sale) and then visited the little (REALLY little, but trying) Saturday farmers’ market just around the corner. We continued Brian’s tradition of visiting college football stadia. First, to Annapolis to see Navy’s stadium, then wander around downtown. I’ve always heard Annapolis was really beautiful, and it fully lived up to its billing. New England style meets Southern charm. The perfect weather didn’t hurt one bit, either. We also hopped over to College Park to see what we could of Maryland’s stadium. The latest renovations (everyone’s renovating their stadiums these days, you know) have surrounded the place with parking garages and party pavilions, so it was hard to see much. Saturday night we went and saw “Inception”. Go. Just go see it. Then go a second time to make sense of what you saw. Seriously–I’ve heard lots of comparisons to “The Matrix,” and they’re right. Not that this movie is a copy, by any stretch. It’s just the first movie since “The Matrix” that really makes you think, “What just happened?”

Sunday was non-stop leisurely activities from morning til night. We had breakfast with our friends Joe and Eddie (former Columbus boys who now live in suburban Maryland) in the city. Then we drove down to Mount Vernon (Brian had never been) for a quiet stroll around the grounds and to watch the Potomac glide by. I made sure to find the key to the Bastille, which I missed on my last visit, back in high school. The we drove over to Manassas for a late lunch/early dinner, and then it was off to Jiffy Lube Live for the concert.

Yes, that is the name…Jiffy Lube Live.  When first conceived, it was going to be the Stoneridge Pavilion.  Then Nissan bought the sponsorship rights before it even opened, and so from day 1 it was the Nissan Pavilion at Stoneridge. Then just this January, Nissan was replaced by Jiffy Lube. There comes a point where naming rights become a bit silly. I think we’ve crossed that line here.

I have to say, I was probably more excited about CSN than Tom Petty. I mean, c’mon…these guys are LEGENDS. Think of how many years they’ve been around and the stuff they’ve sung about. But legendary status doesn’t equate to immortality. David Crosby can still belt out a tune, but Stills and Nash have lost a step or two. The incredible harmonies that make me love those guys just weren’t there. But it was still great to see them live. Tom Petty gave me exactly what I expected.  A rockin’ (but not to hard) show, with a nice mix of old favorites peppered with a few tunes from the new album. They threw in some nice twists, with a sweet mellow version of “Learning to Fly”, and the visual effects added punch without overtaking the band.

But of course, this blog isn’t a diary. I don’t mean for it to be a simple checklist of friends visited, sites viewed, and concerts attended. It’s supposed to go deeper, right? So take a dive with me…

First, we couldn’t help but notice as we made our way out to Jiffy Lube Live (snicker) that we were leaving suburban DC and entering The South. Yes, it’s still just a few miles from the capital. And there were still the same stores and restaurants and strip malls. But something had changed. It’s not even something you can put your finger on, but it’s what makes the South different from the North. It just feels different. I’m not going to tell you what causes that feeling, because I don’t know what it is. If you know, please tell me. Is it the accents? The clothes? The hairstyles? The body language? Tell me, because I really don’t know. Other than the noticeable increase in smokers (ick) I just can’t put a finger on it.

The other thing I brought back from the weekend was a series of quotes. The trip was full of ‘em, and they’re worth sharing.

Quote #1 – our dear friends Dale and Steven are currently living with their friend (who has become our friend) Chris, in Columbia, MD. Chris has this fantastic, sprawling ranch house, which he’s put a lot of effort into making very party-friendly. So much so that lots of their friends have their parties there, and the place is actually know in their circle as “The Barbie Dream House”. (those gays!) One of their friends is turning 50, and is having his birthday party there in a couple of weeks. This friend always needs to feel like his parties have something “special” to offer. Apparently, this friend’s definition of “special” includes barbecue served with champagne cocktails. Oh, and he never uses the word “special.” (because that’s not “special” enough) So he calls it “precious”.

So Steven and Chris are loathing this upcoming party, and decided to take the initiative and propose an alternate menu to their friend. They settled on a nice menu of fajitas and paella. Easy to prepare, easy for the guests to get just what they want, tasty, etc., etc., etc. Now they just have to sell their friend on the idea. “Easy,” I tell them, “Just tell him it’s not ‘typical’ Mexican.  It’s ‘Precious Mexican’, or ‘PreshMex’ for short.”  So there you have Quote #1. (World’s longest buildup, world’s shortest quote.)

Quote #2 As we were stuck in traffic someplace, sometime over the weekend, I read the following bumper sticker on the vehicle in front of us:

I am a St-Something-Or-Other High School honor roll parent

Veddy veddy interesting, don’t you think? We’ve been seeing bumper stickers like this for years. But up until now, they’ve always read, “My child is and honor roll student at…” Notice how this one takes the child out of the equation altogether. It’s all about the parent. So much for living vicariously…

Quote #3 – at breakfast on Sunday, we had this funny waiter who talked just like Bruce from “Family Guy”. (thick Southern accent, heavy on the lisp) He kept missing my glass (and only my glass) every time he came around to refill water. Finally, he said, “I don’t know why I keep missing yours.  I must be shocked and appalled by your beauty.”  Appalled?  Did he just say appalled? Is that supposed to be a compliment?

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